Since the publication of groundbreaking study that bisexual men do in fact exist, I thought it would be a good time to post something from my upcoming book. Below is the introduction to Bisexual Men, which will be released on 23rd September (International Celebrate Bisexuality day). Bisexual Men will be available in print and as an e-book on eXcessica, Amazon.com and Amazon.co.uk
In search of the Invisible Man
Where are all the bisexual men? Where are the male role models, making it easier for others to accept who they are? Where are the male celebrities stealing kisses at award ceremonies? Male-identified bisexuals don’t only exist in the media, they live next door, stand next to me at the bus stop. Bi men are friends and colleagues. But when I started thinking about bisexual men, I could only find a handful; a famous wrestler, a couple of rock stars, and various men in the European bisexual communities whom I’d see at BiCon (Convention of Bisexuality) every year. As much as I admired these guys, I knew I wanted more. But then maybe they were keeping quiet because bisexual men tend to get a raw deal in the grand scheme of things? Bi men bring queerness a little too close to home for the liking of some who find it easier to dismiss them as either curious or experimenting; never settling, but always a pretender to the throne.
Bisexuality has often been marginalised by both straight and gay/lesbian communities. It seems that every year a study is published to state that there is no such thing as bisexuality for men, as if sexual orientation can be boxed up and disposed of as simply as that. An attraction to more than one gender is not something just for women. Not all bisexual men live in secret (or on the Down-Low if you’re in the U.S). Some men are proud of their orientation, some are less so. Regardless of their visibility, I wanted to write something in celebration of these fierce souls who have open arms and hearts too. In doing so, I’ve learnt that these once-invisible men truly are everywhere.
Fuck ‘em all is a story about a man who completely accepts himself, including his sexuality. He only gets angry at people who don’t do the same. Homeless tells of a man who buys sex from men, with the full knowledge of his angelic wife. What’s in a Name? shows how a faux pas in bed (calling out the wrong lover’s name) can lead to self-discovery for all involved. Not with a bang, but a whimper sees a sexual surrogate observe her changing relationship with two men—one a lover and one a friend.
Some of the characters have to reach rock bottom before they start living the life they truly want. In How Special is Special? A man faces a terrible dilemma on his wedding day; choose the bride or the best man. My Generation is all about a man who finds himself taking a bit too much interest in the boy bands his daughter loves. He doesn’t want to call himself bisexual in case the name sticks, but he learns to embrace his changing desires with time.
Bisexual men come from all backgrounds: in David does BiCon, the central character falls for a man with ‘skin the colour of soot.’ I’ve found my man takes place during the Notting Hill Carnival, which is the largest multicultural event in Europe. The players quickly change their views as to what types of people are bisexual during a sexy evening of fun.
Bisexual men exist, period. If you still think they’re invisible, then maybe you’re looking in the wrong place. I love bisexual men, every single chance I get. Please enjoy these stories and see why that’s the case.
Bisexual Men will be available in print and as an e-book on eXcessica, Amazon.com and Amazon.co.uk