Trigger Warning: Sexual abuse, Sexual assault, Rape, child sexual abuse survivors
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Repeat victims of sexual abuse/assault are often left in an isolated place. Few enough people (including medical staff) want to discuss it happening once. Even less want to acknowledge that it has happened multiple times. I agonised for decades over the fact I’ve been sexually assaulted by several different people & groups over the course of my life. It was only a little while ago that I heard so many survivors of child sexual abuse grow up conditioned to be compliant/not make noise/not kick up a fuss about things. This conditioning often follows us into adulthood, where it is difficult to to judge other people’s intentions and our own safety. We have learned to ignore our instincts, to not question others who behave inappropriately to us. Other things like body language can get screwed up when growing up in with sexual abuse. Body language is not a conscious thing for me, but other abusive people pick up on my wish to not be seen, and my ability to shrink myself so I’m less of a target. These are all things I did to survive as a child. I shouldn’t have had to do any of this, and we survivors should have grown up being protected and loved. All of this isn’t to say that survivors will inevitably be assaulted again, but rather to say: if it’s happened to you many times, it’s still not your fault. You can refuse to hold the guilt and shame. You can be there for yourself, not matter how physically and emotionally isolated you are. You can know that you are not alone.
I’m sending you all my love in your journey to heal.
The following articles go into this in more details: https://tinyurl.com/t3ay5ex
And this one by the World Health Organisation has lots of further links
Written in Shadows 