Monthly Archives: October 2015

Image

I sat next to a white teenager on a train today; it was my reserved seat, so I didn’t feel anything about it.  But then a few minutes before the train was due to depart, the teenager’s dad boarded the train.
“You can always move once the train leaves the station,” he said to the boy, a worried look evident on his face.  I felt irked, but said nothing as the boy’s dad kept looking nervously at us.  The boy stated he was fine where he was.  After a short while he left.  I tried to let the uncomfortable feeling go: why was sitting beside me such a bad thing?  Just as these thoughts entered my mind, the dad returned once more.

“There are some seats at the other end of the carriage.  You can move there.”

“I’m okay, dad,” the boy replied.  

I wished I’d said something.  I wished I had stood, told the dad: “Look if you don’t want your kid sitting next to a fat, black person, just say so!”  But I grit my teeth, waited until the dad left again, and moved to another unreserved seat.  I could hear the voices telling me I’m too sensitive; that I need to grow a thicker skin.  But the look on the dad’s face, his tone of voice and the character he revealed through the words he used, stayed with me for longer than I would have liked.  Fatness isn’t contagious, just as blackness isn’t either.  But the white gaze despises both of those things.  The white gaze says the worst possible thing that could happen is to be black and/or fat.  Unfortunately that gaze has been internalised by people of colour too, and on ocassion I feel included in that thought process.
But other times I don’t.  Other times I feel positive about being a black, fat and nonbinary person.  I even wrote a zine about it in happier times.  You can buy it here: https://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/222492767/body-imagefatness-and-blackness?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=body%20image,%20fatness%20and%20blackness&ref=sr_gallery_1

Image

bisofcolour:

The pic above are a few of the editors of Purple Prose.

Purple Prose is a UK guide to bisexuality.  That in itself is pretty unique, as it often feels like any literature on bisexuality in the UK is at least 20 years old.  Another unique thing is that People of Colour in the UK have not been ignored!  Jacq Applebee edited a large chapter on the experiences of bisexual people of colour.  Five talented writers of colour tell of their experiences of being an invisible minority within a minority.  Other topics include faith and ethnicity, how research often lets us down, how dress codes make it difficult for people of colour to fit in spaces, and how unwelcoming and outright racist the UK bisexual communities can be.  There is also a list of resources for bisexual people of colour in the UK.

Purple Prose also contains chapters on Disability, Non-Monogamy, Gender, Faith and Religion, Ageing, Bi Myths and Legends, and Fictional bisexuals!

There is currently a crowdfunder for Purple Prose: https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/purple-prose-bisexuality-in-britain#/  Please support it, as this book is desperately needed.  There is sadly very little for people coming out as bisexual.  Biphobia in lesbian and gay communities mean the spaces we thought would welcome us, turn out just as bad as the straight communities many of us have fled.  Just the fact that none of the lesbian and gay publishers in the UK wanted to be involved with this book, speaks volumes (no pun intended).  So support your local bisexuals, and start supporting Purple Prose!

Purple Prose will be published by Thorntree Press

Image

No such thing as invisible,

Only just erasure.

Biphobia and racism inexcusable;

My mental health’s in danger.

Apologies do no good to me

When I’m the target of violence

And you choose to ignore my cries;

The voice I have is silenced.

I am standing right beside you, see?

Bisexual, black and nonbinary.

I am also part of LGBT

Don’t pretend that you can’t see me

Image

callistomist:

I decided to create a masterpost that would help you with what you are struggling with. Hopefully any of the links below will help you!

Reminder; You’re going to be okay. What you are going through will pass, just remember to breathe. 

————————————————————————————-

Distractions;

Here are some distractions to help keep your mind occupied so you aren’t too focused on your thoughts. 

Sleep issues; 

 

Uncomfortable with silence; 

Anxiety; 

Sad, angry and depressed/depression; 

Isolation and loneliness; 

 

Self-harm;

Addiction; 

 

Eating disorders; 

 

Dealing with self-hatred;  

 

Suicidal; 

 

Schizophrenia;

OCD;

Borderline personality disorder; 

Abuse; 

 

Bullying;

 

Loss and grief; 

(Other loss and grief)

 

Getting help; 

Things you need to remember; 

  • – Don’t stress about being fixed because you’re not broken.
  • -Remember to remind yourself of your accomplishments. Tell yourself that you’re proud of yourself, even if you’re not. 
  • – This is temporary. You won’t always feel like this. 
  • -You are not alone. 
  • -You are enough. 
  • -You are important. 
  • -You are worth it. 
  • -You are strong. 
  • -You are not a failure, 
  • -Good people exist. 
  • -Reaching out shows strength. 
  • -Breathe. 
  • -Don’t listen to the thoughts that are not helping you. 
  • -Give yourself credit. 
  • -Don’t be ashamed of your emotions, for the good or bad ones. 
  • -Treat yourself the same way as you would treat a good friend. 
  • -Focus on the things you can change. 
  • -Let go of toxic people. 
  • -You don’t need to hide, you’re allowed to feel the way you do. 
  • -Try not to beat yourself up. 
  • -Something is always happening, you don’t want to miss out on what’s going to happen next. 
  • -You are not a bother.
  • -Your existence is more than your appearance. 
  • -You are smart. 
  • -You are loved. 
  • -You are wanted. 
  • -You are needed. 
  • -Better days are coming. 
  • -Just because your past is dark, doesn’t mean your future isn’t bright. 
  • -You have more potential than you think. 
  • – Your value doesn’t decrease based on someone’s inability to see your worth.


Please remember to look after yourself and know that you are more than worth it and you deserve to be happy. Keep smiling butterflies x

 

Gallery